During the gorgeous summertime in Vancouver, it is no doubt the most popular wedding season. Not only the couple, parents and wedding party will get stressful during the planning process, it is very possible that your beloved guests will feel stressful and uncertain about the etiquette as well. During these several weeks, I have received quite a few email inquiries from various wedding guests regarding what they should wear, whether they should change their attire, when is the best time to present gift, etc….And coincidentally enough, these inquiries I received are all from the gentlemen, which yet proves again gone are the days when only lady guests care about wedding etiquette.
Q1:
As guests, what should men wear to the ceremony at Church in the morning? Can they wear tuxes? Is it necessary for men to change into another suit for the banquet or reception at night?
A1:
For attending a ceremony at church, given that church is a rather solemn place, guests tend to dress a little more formal than wearing denim to a ceremony. As a guest, business casual is usually adequate during the day. You may certainly go with a suit if that is your preference. As for the banquet, I would say it totally depends on the formality of the reception. If the wedding invitation does not tell you the formality of the wedding already, the banquet venue should give you more or less of an idea. For example: if the banquet venue takes place at a beachfront outdoor patio restaurant, the chances are the couple is hosting a wedding with casual attire. On the other hand, if the banquet venue takes place in a nice Chinese restaurant or a 5 star hotel, you would probably want to wear your suit and tie. It is not necessary or mandatory for men to change into another suit from day to night, it is simply a personal preference. If you do not want to change the entire outfit but want to look somewhat different from the daytime ceremony to the night banquet, I would suggest you to stick with the same suit and simply change the color of the tie or cuff links, and/or add a tie clip or pocket square. Do not underestimate these minor changes, you’ll be amazed what a huge differences it makes!
Q2:
When is the appropriate time to present the gift? Should the guests send the gift in advance, give it to the bride or groom at the Ceremony, or present it at the banquet?
A2:
If you are a close friend with the bride or groom, it will be nice and thoughtful of you to present the gift prior their wedding day, so they have one less thing to carry with them at the end of the night. If you choose to present the gift on the day of their wedding, I would suggest to present before the banquet starts. It is not wrong to present it before the daytime ceremony, it’s just that both bride and groom are usually nervous about their big entrance during the day and do not have much time to greet and socialize with guests. Before the night banquet begins, the newly wed couple tends to be more relaxed and have a fair amount of time slot taking pictures and greeting their guests. Therefore, I feel that particular moment is the best time to present the gift if you want to give the present to the bride and/or groom directly.
Q3:
Chinese like to give lucky money (red pockets), should they still include a gift?
A3:
Chinese have a habit of giving lucky money, monetary gift is always practical. There is no rule to this, it mainly depends on your budget. If your total budget is $100, you can either give a total of $100 in a red pocket, or a $100 gift card, or simply purchase a gift that is close to that value. If you would like to present both present and money, you can split the amount and do $50 red pocket and $50 value present.
